13 months ago I sat in a Starbucks across from my friend Joe. We talked about the projects we’d been working on and how they were progressing.
I told him my plans for Tactical Talks and some other projects that are currently in the works. At this point, my website had been sitting on blocks. It was “live” but had zero content on the blog.
When I finished speaking he asked me a simple yet tough question. The one I hoped would never come...at least from anyone other than myself.
He said “Matt, what are you waiting for?”
That was a roundhouse kick to the abdomen. My knee-jerk reaction was to try to defend my honor! I mean, anything to avoid being honest with myself, right? But in reality, Joe was right.
Now, to be fair to myself (and preserve a little dignity!), I was actually working on these projects. Day by day, little by little—the best way to knock down big projects.
My problem was that I had content that was ready to be released into the world, but I was waiting for perfection. The usual excuses like, the world had to be tilted 174 degrees on its axis, my dog needed to be groomed, my fingers were hurting...you know what I’m talking about.
He could see right through me, though, as if I were a sheet of glass. He’d been there. The “it has to be absolutely perfect or else!” mindset.
That mindset has probably buried billions of stories that could have changed someone’s life had they been able to hear or read about them.
Les Brown thinks so. Here's what he said:
“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry our their dream.”
Then Joe laid out the clichéd scenario of “What if you were to die today? What would become of all the untold stories?”
I certainly didn’t plan on dying that day, nor did I plan on thinking about the possibility (thanks JOE!), but it’s a valid point don’t you think?
So I ask you:
Are you waiting for something?
Have you been telling yourself that you’re going to join a Toastmasters club to get over your fear of public speaking? Have you been wanting to write a book? What about a blog?
Look within, without raising your defenses, and ask yourself: What’s stopping you?
Think about it.
I realize now that even though I dreaded being called out, I’m glad that I was. Sometimes we need a friend to tell us that we’re being assholes. Or perhaps just procrastinating 🙂
An outside perspective, one you can trust, is an asset.
It’s not easy to admit to ourselves the truth. In fact, sometimes we may not even realize it.
For example, maybe instead of joining Toastmasters to get actual experience speaking in front of an audience, which is essential to overcoming the fear, you’ve been reading everything you can about the subject in hopes of being 100% prepared?
I get that. It’s nice to prepare, but not so nice if you never get around to the actual “doing” part.
Endless preparation and perfection feels good. It’s safe after all. However, what’s the point if you don’t do anything with it? It’s like buying the best suit or dress, getting the best haircut, sporting the fanciest shoes, wearing the best cologne or perfume, and then staying home...
I’d love to be Joey the “Hype” and tell you that you can overcome the fear of public speaking by rolling some animal bones and chanting a few demonic words, but without action by way of experience, it’s not going to happen.
What I’m saying is you need both learning AND action, but remember that nothing happens until something moves. Make sense?
What are you hiding from the world that could change someone’s life? Get out there today and share it with the world.
Need a little motivation to get you going?
Click here for a fear-blasting 39-point checklist.
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About this guy...
Howdy! My name is Matt Kramer and I used to suffer excruciating death when speaking in front of a group, now I LOVE it. Overcoming this fear has changed my life. In less than a year since, I’ve started this website, Tactical Talks, competed and won 3 separate public speaking contests, wrote a book, and spoke at one of the top universities in southern California (SDSU).
And look, I’m not telling you this to “show off.” My purpose is to show you that it’s possible to start doing the things that YOU want to do. And that’s my goal. My focus is to help you overcome the fear of public speaking so you can build the confidence to go after what you want in life.
