The Simple Way To Get People To Help And Support You

Matt KramerMotivation, Uncategorized2 Comments

help public speaking ask tactical talks

I used to think it was good enough to buckle down and “do it myself.” For everything.


From projects to personal problems, I’d always keep them confidential. No matter what, I’d try to figure things out on my own—even if it meant avoiding the person I knew could solve my problem with a single question.


I realize now that I’ve been going about it the wrong way.


Yes, you have to put in the work, but there’s a vast resource called people that can, and in most cases, want to help you.

How was I supposed to go about getting this help, though? 


I came face to face with this during my recent book launch. The answer turned out to be surprisingly simple.

I can’t tell you how many people went out of their way to help me. Whether it was voting for the best book cover, sharing my book when it was released, purchasing the book, or giving me a butt-load of encouragement, people wanted to freaking help...



Throughout most of the process it was difficult for me to even tell my friends that I was writing a book. In my mind it felt as if I were trying to “show off” or something like that. It’s not my style, so I avoided saying anything until I was around 75% done with it. (Another reason I didn’t say anything was the whole “commitment” thingy, but that's another story...)

I realize now that it should have been my style. In fact, it should be everybody’s. If you don’t ask then there's zero chance of getting the help you seek.

And there's the key to getting help....you must ASK for it by putting you and your work "out there." Even at the risk of criticism.


Missed Opportunity! 

And even if you’re not asking anybody for something, by keeping your progress a secret you’re closing yourself off from potential opportunities.


I’ll use my book as an example.


It’s about public speaking and overcoming the fear of doing it. What if one of my friends knew a professor at a college who taught a public speaking course?


If I didn’t tell that friend about my book, then I would have missed out on some potential opportunities. What if the professor were able to make my book part of the curriculum? What about a speaking gig to come and talk to the class?


What if that professor knew about an even bigger opportunity that my book could have been a part of?


You never know what could happen! However, you absolutely do know what to expect if you keep your projects a secret. Nothing.


Let’s look at this from a different angle.


What of the people whose lives could have been changed by reading my book? [Hey, it could happen!]

By concealing the book and not getting it out into the world, I would have made sure that nobody had a chance to benefit from it. Heck, if I kept it hidden then you wouldn’t be reading about in this post, right? I’d check it out if I were you 🙂 

The Encouragement Effect

The whole process inspired me. The encouragement I received not only helped me, but it changed me.


Now I’m constantly on the lookout for people who have projects or goals brewing. I want to pay them back with the same encouragement that I was generously offered.


I know what a simple “great job!” can do to your morale. It’s a cycle that keeps on giving...all because you decided to share something with the world.


Sure, there’ll be some haters. But so what? They can hate while you celebrate. 

So I’m asking you to ask, to tell, get the word out. Let the world know that you’re coming, and that you mean business.


I bet you’ll find people to help.

Please share this post with a friend OR an enemy!


About this guy...


Matt Kramer - Tactical Talks - Public Speaking

Howdy! My name is Matt Kramer and I used to suffer excruciating death when speaking in front of a group, now I LOVE it. Overcoming this fear has changed my life. In less than a year since, I’ve started this website, Tactical Talks, competed and won 3 separate public speaking contests, wrote a book, and spoke at one of the top universities in southern California (SDSU).

And look, I’m not telling you this to “show off.” My purpose is to show you that it’s possible to start doing the things that YOU want to do. And that’s my goal. My focus is to help you overcome the fear of public speaking so you can build the confidence to go after what you want in life.


  • Bill Burns says:

    Right on the money! I went to a networking meeting just because I was invited, and got to introduce what I do as a public speaking and presentation coach. In a conversation with a lawyer, he told me that trial lawyers could really use my help. I was stunned — don’t they get lots of training to do that at law school? Turns out, they get none. So I stepped way out of my comfort zone and contacted my local Bar Association (I asked, like you said) — and they’ve arranged for me to do a gig for them early next year! Never imagined I’d be teaching lawyers, and it never would have happened if I hadn’t asked. Thanks for the tip!